She walks among us, strolling lazily through the pasture while we skitter out of her way. We crowd up around the edges of the pasture or stand among the natural bluestone battlements jutting out of the hillside, and we watch her. We murmur, but we keep our voices down on account of her sharp ears. [...]

Then she shook her head – “Oh, never mind!” – and before Ryan knew what had happened, he saw the ceiling spin above him, and he was flat on his back in the middle of her bed. The cushion sank around him as her knees dug in on either side of his head, and then [...]

- Her breath smelled heavily of cheeseburgers now – of grease and cheese and salt and onions and tomatoes – but even with the undertone of meat Ryan didn’t mind one bit. It came out heavy and hastily as she kissed him. Her kissing style was anything but restrained – it was noisy, and wet, [...]

Ryan hustled into the bathroom as quickly as the heavy door would let him, and was unzipping his fly even before he’d reached the urinal. He fell against the wall above the flush handle and let out a long-held sigh of relief as an uncharacteristic flood streamed out of him and down the porcelain wall. [...]

The basso profundo horns sounded in the distance, echoing through the jungle valleys. There was no rest from the horns any more, not even in the daylight. That the jungle was silent besides only made the trumpeting more unsettling; except for the rustle of the the wind in the upper levels of the canopy, there [...]

She reached over to the side of the bed, and I don’t know what she did, but a moment later the locked door opened and the two ewe sheep came in with a box. The cow scooped me up as easily as if I were a child, and held me to her chest while the [...]

- Things went quickly after that. They Customer Service agent who picked up the phone had deep, smokey, feminine voice that I imagined belonged to some tropical alligator. She was efficient on the phone and very professional. I tried to get her to stop calling me sir, but she laughingly insisted. Once I told her [...]

Marguerite’s car was one of those tiny hatchbacks no one in America buys – the kind that makes a Focus look roomy – and it smelled of incense. She drove far too quickly along a winding, hilly road that cut a ditch through the countryside, with only one casual hand on top of the wheel. [...]

- I won’t go into the particular details of what happened over the next hour – it wouldn’t be gentlemanly. Let it suffice to say that I didn’t sleep after I had my orgasm; I wasn’t allowed to sleep until she was thoroughly sated too. Until that night I hadn’t had the slightest idea of [...]

It was a difficult time for the world of men. The shield-leather goblins were spilling out of their hills again, and the imaginary dragons had returned to the goodwives’ rumors. That they were imaginary dragons did nothing to diminish their villager-eating, village-burning, villa-demolishing ways, and only made things worse for the villagers. You see, imaginary [...]