xv
I picked over my words before I answered Claire, choosing another vague but accurate response. Choosing again whether or not to be an idiot. “I’m just done,” I told her. I chose poorly.
She smiled, and played with the folds of my ear between her fingers. “It’s certainly not a bad way to go – we do what we can to make it enjoyable. And the maternity wards in this neighborhood are first rate. We make substantial donations to keep them that way.”
She hadn’t caught it. I was safe. Again I could have nodded, and buried myself in her cleavage, but I was overwhelmed by the ineffable need to clarify. “No – I’m really done, for good. I’ve done some reading, and not the kind of books you find in the library. I know. About the blood. Or I guess the flesh for some of you. That’s not really what you feed on. It’s just the vehicle. The soul’s not as immortal as everyone thinks.”
She was no longer smiling – she was sitting straight up and had unwrapped herself from me.
“I’m looking for extinction, Claire – not rebirth.”
She stood, and she was cold and distant. A shadow passed over her eyes.
I sighed. I was an idiot.